About

DOUCHEAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Doucheaholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of men and women who exhibit poor behavior and want to better themselves in a supportive, healing, and nurturing environment. Free of judgment and hostility, DA provides a safe haven for those with proclivities for social misconduct and general immorality. With understanding and full hearts, the group moves forward, one day at a time, to present their best selves to the world and live in harmony with all mankind. The relative success of the DA program seems due to the fact that a Doucheaholic who no longer douches has an exceptional faculty for “reaching” and helping an uncontrolled douchebag. In simplest form, the DA program operates when a recovered Doucheaholic passes along the story of his or her own douchery, describes the sobriety he or she has found in DA, and invites the newcomer to join the informal Fellowship.

Newly admitted Douches will usually be asked to keep an open mind, to attend meetings at which recovered Doucheaholics describe their personal experiences in achieving sobriety, and to read DA literature describing and interpreting the DA program. DA members will usually emphasize to newcomers that only problem douchebags themselves, individually, can determine whether or not they are in fact doucheaholics. At the same time, it will be pointed out that all available medical testimony indicates that doucheaholism is a progressive illness, that it cannot be cured in the ordinary sense of the term, but that it can be arrested through total abstinence from douchery in any form.

If you are concerned with a douchebag problem, wish to learn more about Doucheaholics Anonymous or want to find D.A. near you, we can help you.

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"Have sex with an old man, steal a plant, get arrested, and then do whatever."
- Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

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"My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."
- Kanye West

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"So where’s the Cannes film festival being held this year?"
- Christina Aguilera

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"How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?"
- Jaden Smith

THE TWELVE STEPS OF DOUCHEAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

We admitted we were powerless over douchery – that our lives had become unmanageable.
We came to believe that a Power greater than douchery could restore us to sanity.
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves…at least we started to but there was too much thinking involved.
We admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our douchery. Well maybe not the exact nature but we definitely admit stuff to bartenders after a few drinks.
We made lists of people we harmed and banged, and became willing to consider making amends to them.
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would get in the way of going to the gym, banging dudes/chicks, drinking, and other daily necessities.
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were douchey, promptly admitted it. It doesn’t mean we stopped though.
We sought to improve our conscious contact with a higher power to control our douchery, realizing we need to be…forgot the word….it’s coming…oh yeah, right. Empathetical. We need to be empa-fuckin-thetic to others.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Doucheaholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Uhhh…
Insert another step here.
Okay look, we don’t actually have 12 steps but it seemed like a good number. So keep ya mouth shut. Douches out!

THE CREATIVE TEAM

Guerilla Wanderers is the creative team behind Doucheaholics. They are a full-service production company and creative studio, specializing in crafting award-winning commercials, music videos, and films. Working in tandem with sister company Digital Wanderers, their team of filmmakers, technicians, and artists have brought to life creations across multiple mediums, including the critically acclaimed short films Raging Cyclist, Boxed Up, and Suparhearo: A True Tale by Chance.